You cannot petition the lord with prayer!

“When I was back there in seminary school, there was a person there who put forth the proposition that you can petition the Lord with prayer…
Petition the Lord with prayer…
Petition the Lord with prayer…
YOU CANNOT PETITION THE LORD WITH PRAYER!”

The Soft Parade, The Doors

The following exchange took place in Safeway at 11pm last night:

“Hey, Karen! I’m so glad you’re back!”

“Thanks! I’m very glad to be back.”

“How are things then?”

“Good, and bad. My father is very sick, and I’m having to make some tough decisions about his treatment.”

“What’s his name?”

“Zezozoze Zadfrack.” (Okay…I didn’t really say that. )

“I’ll pray for him.”

Zap! Pow! Bam!

I frowned, felt a little cold, and I think I went a bit rigid.

I hope I didn’t scoff rudely, laugh a little, or roll my eyes.

Should I have proclaimed, “I’m an atheist”, or, “I don’t believe in prayer”, or sneer with skeptical superiority, “I’m actually trying to do something practical“?

Do I email her with this BBC article, or this American Heart Journal article, or this CSI article, or this article by Stephen Barrett, or this e-skeptic article, or this Skeptic’s Dictionary article; pieces that all demonstrate that prayer has no effect?

Or do I explain that thoughts are solely contained within the mind; they cannot be interpreted or read by an external source, or conveyed or communicated by ESP, or be expressed without the intercessory power of language; and even then, the hopes, desires, wants and needs, both thought and expressed to ‘gods’, other supernatural beings or even humans, in and of themselves, do not bring about any change of state in the real world?

Do I meekly thank her and go silently?

Do I cough “ahem”, gather my chocolates and condoms and leave chuckling?

Or do I quote Jim Morrison and scream,

“YOU CANNOT PETITION THE LORD WITH PRAYER!”

I tried to sum it all up, and express my true gratitude for her concern. I touched her on the arm, looked her in the eye and said with sincerity:

“I have confidence in science, and in my own judgment. Thank you for caring.”